39 Deranged Observations About The Super Mario Galaxy Movie

The Super Mario Galaxy Movie, Universal and Illumination’s big screen sequel to blockbuster juggernaut The Super Mario Bros. Movie, is quite a ride. Is it a ride that includes clear story structure, comprehensible stakes, or narrative momentum? Not really. Is it a ride featuring a lot of bright colors, familiar characters, and the occasional deranged moment? Absolutely.

When I reviewed the first film, my focus was on what it would mean for the parents in my life who would have to watch it on repeat when it hit streaming, regardless of quality. This time, I’m focusing on the experience of watching The Super Mario Galaxy Movie as someone whose knowledge of the video games pretty much ends with Super Mario Bros. 3 (1988). This was less of a descent into madness than the time I saw Smurfs. But that’s not saying much. Below are my takeaways, using bullet points in search of sense (even if none may exist).

• The Super Mario Galaxy Movie opens with the bold reveal that there are two girls now in this universe. Two! Both blonde (albeit with different hairstyles) and both with approximately the same fashion sense. You will get no points for guessing that Princess Peach (Anya Taylor-Joy) and our new friend Princess Rosalina are long-lost sisters.
• Princess Rosalina (voiced by Academy Award winner Brie Larson, of course) is introduced reading a bedtime story to dozens of Lumas who are her adoptive children.
  • At least I think they’re adopted. I do not pretend to understand the biology of any character here, including the supposed humans.
  • Rosalina tries to tell them the story of a brave princess named Peach, but the Lumas just want to hear the story about “the plumbers,” yet again.
  • The Lumas really need to explore their unconscious gender biases.
• Rosalina then has a pretty badass fight scene against a giant robot that has arrived to kidnap her (what with her being a princess and all). She ultimately loses, but she put in a good effort.
• And then we get to them Peaky Blindahs — sorry, I mean them Plumbing Brothahs (Chris Pratt, Charlie Day), who ride motorcycles through the desert on their way to a plumbing job that will introduce them to their new friend Yoshi, who is a very cute dinosaur that can eat people and poop them out as eggs.
• Donald Glover plays Yoshi with the kind of commitment that makes you think, “Wow, Donald Glover really wanted to play Yoshi, huh?”
  • As he recently revealed to ScreenRant, yeah, he really wanted to play Yoshi.
  • At no point does Yoshi say or do anything to indicate that he is being played by one of today’s sharpest creative talents. His dialogue is limited to garbled nonsense or the word “Yoshi!”
  • However, it is very fun to remember “Hey, that’s Donald Glover!” whenever Yoshi speaks.
  • I really want to know how much Donald Glover was paid for this.
  • Honestly, probably worth it.

• Mario and Luigi and Yoshi get all spruced up for Princess Peach’s birthday party, which leads to Luigi and Yoshi teasing Mario about his feelings for Princess Peach.
• Yes, it’s another kids’ flick where the concept of adult romantic relationships is gross and icky, in alignment with Nintendo’s position that Mario and Peach are platonic.
• As her party’s coming to a close, Princess Peach finds out about Rosalina’s abduction thanks to one of Rosalina’s Luma spawn, and while she doesn’t know who Rosalina is she does want to help out. So she and Toad (Keegan-Michael Key) set out across the galaxy looking for answers, and Mario, Luigi, and Yoshi follow behind soon after.
• This is a good point to mention that Super Mario Galaxy Movie draws its name from the video game Super Mario Galaxy, which features Mario trying to save Princess Peach from Bowser while bounding around the galaxy.
• The bounding-around-the-galaxy element remains intact here, though it’s worth noting that in this universe, space is not a vacuum and everyone’s spaceships are basically convertibles, so they can enjoy that nice space breeze on their travels.
• This is the point at which the script starts freely lifting major plot points from Star Wars: Episode IV — A New Hope, with Princess Peach as Obi-Wan and Toad as… Luke? R2-D2 is probably the more accurate comparison.
• They literally go into a “wretched hive of scum and villainy” cantina on an alien world before finding their way to a perspective-bending casino where all the walls have their own gravity.
  • The casino does lead to one of the film’s best action scenes, in which Peach uses the unique qualities of the room to kick a whole bunch of ass.
  • That she does so while dressed like a Victorian woman with a secret laudanum addiction is just one of many moments of cognitive dissonance.
• Right around the time Luigi, Mario, and Yoshi catch up with Peach, Peach decides she needs to find a pilot to take them forward on their journey, at which point Super Mario Galaxy Movie just full-tilt slams a character from a totally different video game into the action.
• The character in question is Star Fox, a.k.a. Fox McCloud, played by Glen Powell as the coolest anthropomorphic fox to ever walk on two legs and fly a spaceship. This motherfucker has a silver vest, and a tragic past (rendered in some sharp anime-style animation, for shits and giggles), and I could not stop laughing for the entire run of his introduction.
  • Disney’s Robin Hood, the Zootopia movies… Animated foxes on screen, man. A class unto themselves.
  • Fox McCloud gives Peach a lot less shit about giving her a ride than Han Solo ever did, I’ll note.
  • Also, Fox McCloud’s presence here does pave the way for either a Star Fox spinoff or a Super Smash Brothers-themed follow-up. Crossing my fingers for the spinoff.

The Super Mario Galaxy Movie (Universal)

• At a certain point, the movie stops ripping off Star Wars and returns to focusing on this franchise’s concept of princess-rescuing, as the gang makes its way to Rosalina is being held captive by Bowser Jr. (Benny Safdie).
  • Oh, guess I should have mentioned earlier that Bowser Jr. is the son of Bowser (Jack Black). Why is the co-director of Uncut Gems voicing him? Who knows. Add it to the Benny Safdie Pantheon of Bad Guys, which also includes Happy Gilmore 2 and whatever the hell he was doing in The Curse.
  • Bowser Jr. just wants to make his dad happy through his love language — galactic domination — while Bowser is nervous that he’s been a bad father and let his son down. It’s actually kind of sweet. Deranged, but sweet.
• At a certain point, we watch Mario and Peach battle their way through levels and challenges that feel directly drawn from the original NES games.
  • To really sell the point, we cut occasionally to Bowser Jr.’s “security feed” — which is just the 8-bit graphics version of the action.
  • It’s a funny touch, even if it feels like a corporate mandate to really play to the nostalgia of people who haven’t touched a game controller since the ’90s.
• Eventually, it ends. Because this is a kids’ movie based on iconic IP, I will not begrudge the general lack of narrative tension, but it would have been nice if there had been any sort of real character development.
• The biggest point of suspense was the question of whether it would pass the Bechdel Test (given the aforementioned presence of two girls, not to mention Issa Rae as a giant queen bee!).
  • It gets so close to doing so, it’s legitimately fascinating. It really depends on the difference between “two female characters exchanging actual words back and forth in the same scene” versus “one female character says one line to the other female character in one scene, and then in a later scene the other female character says a line to the original female character.”
• The biggest flaw, beyond all that pesky plot and character stuff I mentioned: Jack Black barely gets to sing.
• Donald Glover doesn’t get to at all.
• Good for them for getting paid, though.

The Super Mario Galaxy Movie levels up into theaters on Wednesday, April 1st.